Think you know what women want? Think again, pal. Our panel of experts - and 1,000 real life British women - reveal what ladies really want from the no-pants dance.

Want to see the results of the FHM Big Sex Survey 2014? Click here

 

THE PANEL

Rebecca Dakin: Author, expert and relationship and dating advisor.
Sara Pascoe: Comedian, possibly the funniest woman in Britain.
Lucy Hancock: Journalist, writes about all things sexual.

 

You think…you go solo more often than your missus.

The truth: Guys are a bigger bunch of wankers than girls - this much we know - but still, we discovered that 46% of women go solo at least once a week.

"Most of us have used a vibrator at some point," says Hancock. "But you'll be relieved to hear lots of ladies find the whole giant veiny plastic knob thing a bit gross-out, and stick to good old fashioned digits for stimulation. The bath is a very popular location for a bit of hands solo time - especially if you live in a house share - and a decent power shower attachment is a handy alternative to the tell-tale buzz of a vibrator."

So if the hot water is constantly running out at home, now you know why: it's the girls of the house buffering their bits into next week. Or an inadequate immersion heater. Either way it's pretty sexy though, right? Lads?

Nicole Neal for FHM

You think…the clitoris holds the key.

The truth: "The biggest mistake men make is skipping foreplay," says Dakin. "Skin is the biggest organ of the body and is highly responsive to touch, especially the neck, back, inner thighs and palms. Not every erogenous zone is going to work for every woman. Try everything - kissing, nibbling, stroking - and watch her response."

 

You think…girls are too emotional for one-night stands.

The truth: Imagine, if you will, a topsy-turvy world in which women enjoy one-night stands as much as men. Well, brave yourself soldier, for this world is not science fiction, but . And you live in it.

"Women have loads of one-night stands - they're just much more sneaky about it than you are," says Hancock. "There are many, many girls in this world who just want to get their rocks off - especially on holiday. Play your cards right and you could be relieving her of those rocks."

If you do find yourself in the not unlucky position of waking up in a total stranger's bed, rest assured there's no need to talk about marriage or invite you parents round to meet her. "You both know the game, so don't bother making false promises about slap-up meals and trips to the zoo. This is the 21st century. Sometimes great sex is just great sex."

Nicole Neal and Danielle Sharp for FHM

You think…girls don't want threeway fun.

The truth: Highly arousing news flash: women find the idea of a third player as exciting as you.

"Fantasies about group sex are common,' says Pascoe. "Having said that, the of a threesome might be a sexy thing to imagine, but that doesn't necessarily translate to doing it. It's embarrassing enough having sex with one person."

A whopping 22% of female respondents admitted to having had a menage a trios - French for 'household of three', in case your sordid fact-hungry mind was wondering.

 

You think…women hate anal sex.

The truth: "For a lot of girls, anal sex is like going back to being a virgin again." says Hancock. "It's risky, uncharted territory and the fear that something unladylike might happen can override the please. Plus, she's probably been terrified by some ouch-y looking porn."

That's not to say it'll never happen - 41% of women said they were opening up to the idea - but you have to go about it in the right way. "That means loads of lube and doing it straight after a shower," adds Hancock.

Nicole Neal for FHM

You think…you should be able to make her come during sex.

The truth: While 69% of men are most likely to come through intercourse, women can reach the Big O in a whole host of ways.

"There are 11 types of orgasm, and not every woman will experience every type," says Dakin. "It's about finding what works best for the person that you're with. The most common one is the clitoral orgasm, which is far more likely than a penetrative sex orgasm."

Words by Dan Masoliver
Photography by Marshall Jones

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