You're on Twitter, trawling through a stream of cat pictures and Joey Barton quoting The Smiths and suddenly you're frozen.

Stopped in your tracks by the most beautiful women you've ever seen dishing out 140 character wisdom.

You hit follow. She follows back. You think, 'I could be in here...' Either that or she's one of those Catfish girls. But what do you do next? Hit her with a joke? Send a picture of someone else's six-pack?

Here's Ellis Cooper's top tips on getting girls (that are well out of your league) on Twitter.

11 Be funny
The way to a woman's heart is with laughter... and diamonds. But mainly laughter. Twitter is the perfect way to demonstrate a good sense of humour. If you can make someone laugh in 140 characters you're onto a winner.

10 Think before you tweet

I like tweets with funny anecdotes or something nice and motivational. I'm a fan of funny pictures too, especially of animals - they always get my attention.

I'm not a fan of tweets talking about who you 'banged' last night or how much of a player you are. You might look like a boss to your mates but us ladies will just shake our head.

09 Don't be snap happy

Under no circumstance will tweeting a picture of your penis be a good idea, ever. EVER. Cute animals, yes. Body parts, no.

08 Don't hide behind Direct Messages

For a number of reasons: 1. Twitter is pretty rubbish at notifying you about direct messages so there is a chance we won't see it. 2. Diving straight in with a DM is scarilly keen, and 3. What could you possibly want to say privately that you can't say publicly, other than ask for our number? (HINT: If we message you first, we're keen so GIVE ME YOUR NUMBER!)

07 Retweets can be sweet

If you retweet something witty, funny or our momentary wise words then it's likely we will think 'oh this guy has similar interests or he's got a good sense of humour.. lets follow him and see what he's saying.' Winner.

Retweet a picture of us in our undies on the other hand and there's a 99% chance we'll just think 'LAD' and ignore it.

06 Be forward but retain your dignity

Start a conversation with us. It's important to be sociable on Twitter, afterall, it's a social network but don't tweet us every hour. That just makes us hate you.

05 Beware the wink face
Unless you're 13. Or really want us to think you're 13. Which isn't cool.

04 Chat up lines can be ok
I can't speak for the rest of Twitter's females but I find endless hilarity in a cheesy chat-up line, unfortunately though, the only chat up lies I get are the ones that send a chill down your spine.

'I would love to taste your bath water' is a popular one. I long for the day some asks me if it 'hurt when I fell from heaven.'

03 If you want a date you need to play the long game

Don't jump straight in with the date request but flirt a little first.

I think Instagram is a better avenue to go down if you want to ask someone on a date, at least you can check and make sure it's all safe. So make sure you have an account that we can stalk out.

02 Sort out your profile picture
100% of you, no Alan Partridges, no twitter eggs and definitely no Zayn from One Direction! The success rate will be far greater if you have a picture of yourself.

01 Don't play the follow-unfollow game

I was working with Caitlin, Daisy Watts, Danni King and Jess Impiazzi a few weeks ago and we concluded that the number one DON'T on twitter, is when someone follows you, unfollows you, follows you, unfollows you, follows you… repeatedly.

We know that you do this to get our attention and it usually does but not for the right reasons. We notice, we ignore, we will continue to ignore. Please stop it.

Men of twitter take your curser off that unfollow button and say hello instead.

Say hello to Ellis on twitter: @EllisCooperx