Whether it’s the idea of betterment, the fact you don’t fancy Valentine’s Day on your own or the continually having to awkwardly explain to your gran over the phone the reason why you’re STILL single is getting a bit old, you might be thinking about joining a dating website.

Literally millions of people crawl out of December with a new-found loneliness, that may well last all the way through to February. And while more people are going online to find a nice lady-type to settle down with, more people than ever are easily avoidable mistakes on their profile.

Mistakes that mean, despite all of our mostly genuine efforts, our profiles are looking less like sexy love tools and more like college psychology experiments.

So, here’s how to avoid that…
 

01  Make it obvious that you're you

We're not talking Catfish disclaimers, but make sure you include a few snaps of yourself on your own, in addition to pictures with friends. Nobody wants to be caught in the awkward conversation when they confuse you for your 'fit mate.'
 

02  Don't stare intensely down the camera

Because it's intense, which means you're intense, which makes girls tense. Plus it's 2015, so the chances are that if you look mental, your internet savvy voyeur will probably screengrab it, tweet it, stick it on Tumblr and turn you into a Reddit celebrity.

03  DON'T be doing anything with your penis. Now is not the time

TED GIF

Wine her and dine her first, because regardless of what your mate Jay has told you, there are very, very few women who look at a picture of a penis and think, "Whoa, what a great shaft and a lovely set of balls. I must date him and make him mine."

It doesn't happen. Namely because penises are incredibly awkward to photograph and generally just look like cheap Tesco sausages sticking out of a hairy brain. (GIF via)

 

04  The same rule also applies to topless selfies

Unless it's been directly requested by a potential date (in which case you better start doing some sit-ups), it just makes you look like an arrogant douche. And look above, Justin Bieber's been doing it for at least two years, so it's obviously not that great a thing to be doing, is it?

Nobody needs to know how much you lift. If that information is on your bio, take it off. Quickly.
 

05  At least try to be a bit interesting

Saying things like: 'I love my mates' or 'I enjoy having a good time' do not make you seem interesting. You're basically just saying, 'I'm a person.'

Everybody in the world loves their mates and everybody in the world loves fun. That's all a given. So, you'll have to think outside the box. What sports do you play? Do you make scale models of world leaders out of matchsticks?

Share your real interests. Unless it's that matchstick one – keep that to yourself. (GIF via)
 

06  Be honest

Sell yourself, sure, but don't make yourself sound like her dream boyfriend if everything you're saying is all based on massive lies.

Because she'll probably ask you questions about yourself if you end up going out, and odds are you'll trip yourself up at some point. (GIF via)

 

07  Don't send generic messages

Generic messages are boring. Sending a message that just says 'hi' lacks in personality, makes you seem a bit boring and is also just an awkward one to respond to.

Have you just been staring at their pictures? Maybe you could, you know, read their bio, look through their profile and actually ask them something personal. It's always wise to start with a question.
 

08 Don't include your own wedding photos

If you can't see why this would be a bad idea then you should probably stop reading this right now and slap yourself in the face with a giant sack of common sense.

 

 

Want to give it a go? Why not try FHM's very own dating site

 

 


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