The ins and outs of finding love (and sex) in the office

Posted by , 04 February 2014



You’re desperate to confess your love

On the verge of ’fessing up your feelings? Read this next word very carefully: don’t.

“Never ever mention to a girl you’re not dating how much you like them,” says Daniel. “The second the words leave your mouth, you realise how creepy you sound. ‘Hey, I know this might be slightly weird, but I just wanted to let you know…’ You just wanted to let her know? Why do we always phrase it like that? We’re setting ourselves up to fail.”

You’ve realised you have nothing in common

So you’ve spent some quality time with your crush. And you now have this nagging feeling she might not actually be the girl of your dreams after all. Don’t worry – it’s normal.

“Offices are like melting pots,” says Dr Wheatley. “You have a lot of shared experiences when you work with someone, so regardless of everything else in your lives, it feels like you have loads in common. You can easily make the classic error of mistaking proximity for closeness. It’s actually very similar to the sexual relationships that develop between inmates in prison.”

You’ve been caught in the act

“There is risk aplenty here,” warns Tara. “It’s best to be discreet and resist the temptation of the office sex fantasy as the consequences could be far worse than a staple in the bottom. I know one couple who were caught in a compromising position in a store cupboard at work and were both sacked.”

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Relationship and sex advice from the FHM team. How to please your woman, talk to girls, have great relationships and be a Ron Jeremy in the bedroom.