You all know the score: sex is cleaner with a packaged weiner. Don't be silly, wrap your willy. Cover your stump before you hump.
As well as keeping your pecker wart-free, condoms can also help you have ever greater sex. And great sex can move you. (And, more importantly, her.)
But which condom is right for you? FHM have laid out a spermicide smörgåsbord for you to select from...
Durex Intimate Feel
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Durex's best-selling condom is ultra-thin and extra-lubricated. A stone-cold classic.
£3.29 for three
Skins Black Choc

Black and chocolate-flavoured. If you get nibbled upon, don't come crying to us.
£2.99 for four
Durex Tingle Me

Coated in a tingly, minty lubricant to give your intercourse a zingy, Polo-scented twist. Not for sensitive skin.
£3.14 for three
EXS Glow In The Dark

Transform your boring old erection into an exciting, lusty lightsaber with this luminous champ.
£3.99 for three
Durex Pleasure Me

Ribbed 'n' dotted, to give both of you (or all three of you, if you've hit the sexy jackpot) a saucy thrill.
£3.29 for three
Pasante Trim

A trimmer condom for the slimmer manhood. Don't be shy - we can't all be donkey-penised porn stars.
£2.99 for three
Pasante Large

A wider condom for the more jumbo-genitaled gentleman. Say goodbye to blue-penis agony.
£2.99 for three
Durex Extra Safe

Planning some vigorous, no-holes-barred sex? Get armoured up.
£2.85 for three
EXS Black Fantasy

Pretend your penis is a naughty policeman's sexy truncheon with this pitch-black weiner-jacket.
£3.99 for six
Durex Ultra Thin
The Bugatti Veyron of johnnies. Thin, light and ultra-sensitive (but it still works).
£9.99 for 12.