Avoid sounding like an extremely awkward, nervous and utterly tactless teenager in the bedroom with our guide to talking raunchy.
Relationships expert and couples’ sex toy designer Tracey Cox tells us what subjects to avoid when things get raunchy…
“You know, Charlotte used to be able to get her foot behind her head.”
“No woman wants to hear your ex-girlfriend’s name in the bedroom, especially when it’s any kind of comparison. Talk about your current lady and her alone.”
“You’re just so bootylicious!”
“Never, ever criticise any of your girlfriend’s body parts and never, ever use the word ‘fat’ within 500ft of the bedroom. Any kind of remote criticism, even if you mean well, is going to be blown out of all proportion if it’s mentioned during sex.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t… wait. Is that OK? No? Sorry.”
“Constantly apologising in the bedroom is really off-putting. You’re having sex, not hosting a dinner party. If something doesn’t go to plan, don’t get hung up on it, as it’ll make you seem needy. Being needy is the biggest turn-off.”
“Do you reckon that chicken is marinated yet?”
“Stay on topic. It takes women a while to reach full arousal, but only a millisecond to send her straight back to square one. Keep going and say nothing else until she tells you to stop.”
“I love you so, so much.”
“Sex is often about lust, not love, so tell us how badly you fancy us and want to make us orgasm, not how much you love us and want to have children with us.”
Tracey’s new Dare! line of sex toys is available at lovehoney.co.uk
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