How to close the deal with beautiful women

Posted by , 02 October 2013

THE NEW GIRL AT WORK

THE NEW GIRL AT WORK

Officially, your boss chose the new intern for her positive attitude, strong work ethic and common sense. The fact that she also just happens to be heart-meltingly beautiful, with hair that smells like cinnamon, is neither here nor there. Honest.
 
01 The funny emails
So you’ve got to the stage where you’re shooting emails back and forth across the office. This is hard. Every sentence has to be hilarious and meaningful, while coming across like you haven’t just spent 10 minutes agonising over each word. “Keep them short and sweet,” says Economakis. “Communicating through email is fraught with danger as there’s so much room for misinterpretation.”

Hudson says: “Two words – humorous absurdity: ‘There’s a pigeon looking at me through the window right now. Kind of creepy… like his gaze is saying, I know what you did last summer.’”

“Just send loads of cat pictures,” advises Sloss.

Cat meme

02 The after-works drinks
It’s Friday and everyone’s gone to the pub. That includes the new girl who wants to show she’s one of the gang. “She’ll look at how the others treat you,” says Hudson. “Do they look up to you or are you the butt of every joke? Take the lead and get the first round in. Then let the other chumps chat her up while you have a laugh with your mates. Some direct eye contact across the room will do more than a million one-liners.”

03 The water cooler moment
Suddenly, the pair of you are face-to-face for the first time, sharing small talk over a cup of tea. “Never complain about your job or life,” says Hudson. “It’s not therapy hour.”

“Make a tea-bagging joke," says Sloss. "All girls secretly find tea-bagging jokes hilarious. Then, if you end up in a meeting where you’re told it’s not appropriate to make tea-bagging jokes in the workplace, offer to buy her a drink to apologise. Women are forgiving.”

(incredible cat meme courtesy of Reddit user whiskey06)

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