How to close the deal with beautiful women

Posted by , 24 January 2014



Bloody hell, how did that happen? One minute she was just that slightly annoying girl who was always bugging you for a go on Wii Tennis. Next thing you know, she’s an actual, amazing woman. It’s so wrong. But that’s what makes it so... Nope, it’s still wrong.

But if you've got no objection to treading a very morally dubious path, here's how to go about it...

01 She’s getting physical

No, it’s not your imagination – her hugs really have been lasting longer recently. “Your mate’s sister might have recognised in you the same positive traits she sees in her brother,” says behavioural psychologist Felix
 Economakis, rather disturbingly. “Subconsciously she wants to date her brother, and you’re the closest thing to that. Then again, she might just be competing with her brother for your attention.”

According to comedian Daniel Sloss, it’s all about the shoulder squeeze: “Girls only squeeze the shoulders of guys they fancy.”

02 Your mate leaves the  room
Uh-oh. It’s just the two of you. Your buddy could re-enter at any moment, so if you’re going to go in for a kiss, you have to make absolutely sure you haven’t misread the signals.

Hudson: “If you’re sat next to her on the sofa, try tilting your head a bit and making direct eye contact – think Tom Cruise in Top Gun. If she returns the look, you’re good to go.”

03 Having “the talk”
At some point you’ll have to ’fess up and tell your mate what’s going on. Apart from qualifying for the SAS or entering Primark on a Saturday, this is the hardest thing a man will ever have to do.

“Just make sure you tell your mate before it goes past kissing,” says social-confidence CEO Christian Hudson. “Honesty is always respected among bros.”

“Don’t say anything," adds Sloss. "Just show him a naked picture of his sister. That friendship’s over anyway. If he seems upset, just say, ‘Well, at least it’s not your mum.’”

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Relationship and sex advice from the FHM team. How to please your woman, talk to girls, have great relationships and be a Ron Jeremy in the bedroom.