We’re now halfway through our one-month muscle building challenge. There’s some good news and some bad news.

Good news: we’re now able to tackle stairs again with (relative) confidence.

Bad news: we’re not yet the colossal man-mountain that we’d imagined we’d become. We’re yet to burst out of a single T-shirt, no matter how hot a wash we put them on.

Good news: we did manage to lift heavier weights this week. We’re hoping that, if we keep this up, the T-shirts will be pitiful shreds of cloth in no time.

Bad news: this is proving to be bloody hard work.

Here’s your printable workout plan:


Click on it and it'll get all big and that

And here’s what we managed (the previous week’s records are in red):

MONDAY

Bench press
Smith machine + 65k x 6, Smith + 65k x 4, Smith + 60k x 4
Smith machine + 60k x 8, Smith + 65k x 6, Smith + 65k x 5, Smith + 30k x 22

Close-grip lateral pulldown
45k x 15, 55k x 12
40k x 15, 50k x 12

Incline dumbbell press
22k x 10, 24k x 10, 16k x 14
20k x 10, 24k x 7, 16k x 12

Seated cable row
35k x 15, 45k x 12
30k x 15, 40k x 15

Overhead press
Bar + 30k x 12, Bar + 35k x 7, Bar + 35k x 4
Bar + 30k x 10, Bar + 40k x 6, Bar + 30k x 6

Lateral raise
8k x 8, 8k x 8
6k x 10, 6k x 10, 6k x 8

Bent-over lateral raise
6k x 15, 8k x 12
4k x 15, 6k x 12

Crunches
30, 30, 25
25, 25, 25

All done with 90 seconds rest between sets, apart from crunches (60 seconds rest).

TUESDAY

Barbell squat
Smith + 30k x 10, Smith + 45k x 6, Smith + 50k x 5, Smith + 52.5 x 4
Smith + 20k x 10, Smith + 40k x 6, Smith + 45k x 6, Smith + 50k x 4

Leg press
100 x 10, 130 x 8, 130 x 8
90k x 10, 120k x 10, 130k x 8

Leg extension
30k x 12, 35k x 12, 37.5k x 10
25k x 10, 30k x 12, 30k x 12

Standing calf raise
Smith + 50k x 20, Smith + 80k x 15, Smith + 100k x 12, Smith + 110k x 12
Smith + 40k x 10, Smith + 60k x 15, Smith + 80k x 15, Smith + 100k x 12

Dumbbell calf raise
30k x 12, 30k x 12, 30k x 12
28k x 12, 28k x 12

All 90 seconds rest between sets.

THURSDAY

Pull-ups
6, 5, 5, 5
6, 5, 4, 4

Seated machine chest press
55k x 15, 60k x 15, 67.5k x 8
40k x 15, 55k x15, 65k x 10

Dumbbell row
26k x 10, 26k x 8, 26k x 8
24k x 10, 24k x 8

Dumbbell flyes
16k x 15, 18k x 10
14k x 15, 16k x 12

Incline dumbbell curl
14k x 10, 14k x 8, 8k x 10
12k x 10, 12k x 8

Dumbbell hammer curl

10k x 12, 10k x 10, 10k x 8
12k x 10, 12k x 7, 12k x 7

Tricep dip
10, 10
8, 8

Tricep bar pushdown
15k x 15, 20k x 12, 25k x 8
15k x 10, 20k x 10, 22.5k x 8

Crunches
25, 25, 20
25, 25, 15

All done with 90 seconds rest, crunches with 60 seconds.

FRIDAY

Deadlift
Bar + 40k x 10, Bar + 60k x 6, Bar + 70k x 6, Bar + 70k x 6

Leg press
80k x 15, 90k x 15
Leg curl
30k x 15, 45k x 6, 35k x 12

Standing calf raise
Smith + 80k x 15, Smith + 100k x 15, Smith + 110k x 15

Dumbbell calf raise
26k x 15, 30k x 15, 32k x 12

Diamond press-ups + crunches superset
12 press-ups + 30 crunches, 10 + 30

On the previous Friday we did NOTHING because our legs were BROKEN

All done with 90 seconds rest. Supersets at the end done with no rest.

If you fancy winning four grand, or just showing us up as a big pussy, sign up HERE.

We were starting to feel alright about ourselves, and then we saw THIS:

Week One blog

Week Two blog