Okay, we’re a week into our one month training schedule and BY GEORGE have we noticed a difference.

Sadly, that difference is that stairs – formerly standard objects used to access floors of buildings at a different elevation – have turned into nightmarishly unforgiving bastards of step-steppy doom.

We’ve been semi-regular visitors to the gym for a few years now, so the upper body part of the training plan didn’t come as too much of a shock, but our legs don’t know what’s hit them.

Here’s what we did last week:


Bench press
Smith machine + 60k x 8, Smith + 65k x 6, Smith + 65k x 5, Smith + 30k x 22

Close-grip lateral pulldown
40k x 15, 50k x 12

Incline dumbbell press
20k x 10, 24k x 7, 16k x 12

Seated cable row
30k x 15, 40k x 15

Overhead press
Bar + 30k x 10, Bar + 40k x 6, Bar + 30k x 6

Lateral raise
6k x 10, 6k x 10, 6k x 8

Bent-over lateral raise
4k x 15, 6k x 12

25, 25, 25

All done with 90 seconds rest between sets, apart from crunches (60 seconds rest)


Barbell squat
Smith + 20k x 10, Smith + 40k x 6, Smith + 45k x 6, Smith + 50k x 4

Leg press
90k x 10, 120k x 10, 130k x 8

Leg extension
25k x 10, 30k x 12, 30k x 12

Standing calf raise
Smith + 40k x 10, Smith + 60k x 15, Smith + 80k x 15, Smith + 100k x 12

Dumbbell calf raise
28k x 12, 28k x 12

All 90 seconds rest between sets.


6, 5, 4, 4

Seated machine chest press
40k x 15, 55k x15, 65k x 10

Dumbbell row
24k x 10, 24k x 8

Dumbbell flyes
14k x 15, 16k x 12

Incline dumbbell curl
12k x 10, 12k x 8

Dumbbell hammer curl

12k x 10, 12k x 7, 12k x 7

Tricep dip
8, 8

Tricep bar pushdown
15k x 10, 20k x 10, 22.5k x 8

25, 25, 15

All done with 90 seconds rest, crunches with 60 seconds.


On Friday we should have repeated the legs workout from Tuesday. But we didn't because we could barely walk. And our legs really hurt. And we were going to a wedding on the Saturday. And we didn't want to look like we had bamboo for legs all day. Yeah, those might sound like excuses. That's because THEY ARE.

Here's the plan thing again, to record your workout:

Next week, we'll be bringing the big weights.

Sign up here and you might bag FOUR GRAND just for working out.

Your legs will fucking hurt, though.

(Read Week One's blog here.)