10 ways to burglar-proof your property

Posted by , 07 April 2009

Don’t buy a dog

Don’t buy a dog

Keeping a mean-looking dog – a Rottweiler, for example – will cost you in the region of £100 a month. It’ll also shit on your carpet and cause awkward silences when it sniffs your girlfriend’s crotch. But worst of all, unlike postmen, burglars aren’t scared of them.

Michael says: "A dog is not a deterrent. Because usually if someone’s got animals in the house, they don’t set an alarm, because of the motion. When I was doing a show called Beat The Burglar for BBC2, I broke into a house where they had these two vicious dogs. I locked them in a room, and then emptied the house into the householder’s car. And then I pinched the dogs as well, just to ram home the point."

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