The Beer Expert

Name

Franck Evers

Age

37

Where

Holland

How much do you get paid?

More than I ever dreamt €600 (£400) a day.

How did you get into it?

I ran a bar and could see that other owners weren’t treating beer properly. I developed training out of irritation. To simplify, what I do is tell people how to pour properly and stress how important the head is. I’ve trained 20,000 people.

What are the hours like?

Long, often 9am to 9pm, with lots of driving, but I like that. There’s international travel, too – I’m in the UK now, working for Heineken to introduce the continental style of drinking.

What’s your average working day like?

Roughly four training sessions, with about 25 people. I explain how a perfectly poured beer has a head at the bottom for the first part, so that the foam locks in the CO2, and keeps the beer fresh. I talk about new concepts, new glasses and so on.

What are your colleagues like?

I normally work alone, but I prefer it anyway.

What’s the best perk of your job?

It’s not the money or the travel – it’s the fact that every time I do a session it’s an eye-opener. I know when I start what the reaction at the end will be, but in the beginning it’s always, “Are you going to tell me something I don’t know?”

What was your worst day?

Overall it’s the constant tension. There are 20-odd people waiting for me to deliver and that’s stressful.

And most importantly, is your job good for meeting women?

I’m married, but you meet a lot of beautiful female bartenders. There has to be professional distance, though: you don’t want reports that the trainer was only looking at the ladies.

Finally what was your dream job growing up?

I wanted to work my way up in a multinational, but my first job was as a psychiatric nurse. I’ve also been a tennis teacher… owned bars. Now I’m living the dream.

The Colonic Irrigator

Name

Mark Costar

Age

45

Where

Lancashire

How much do you get paid?

£65 per treatment.

How did you get into it?

I’d been a health practitioner in complementary medicine and was often referring people for colonic irrigation. Then I realised I was referring about 50 people a year, each needing three treatments, and thought, “Hang on…”

What are the hours like?

It’s a service industry, so we have to be available when people need us, which means we work ’til around 9pm most nights.

What’s your average working day like?

I set the temperature, check the equipment and explain the procedure. They lie on a couch. Although, if we forget to say, men often go on all fours with their backside in the air. Then the tubes go in: clean water in one, crap out the other.

What are your colleagues like?

Large, blonde, blue-eyed and beautiful.

What’s the best perk of your job?

Putting a smile on people’s faces – 99.9% of people feel brilliant afterwards.

What was your worst day?

Probably the day we had a client who had wind. It blew the tubes clean off the machine and there was water everywhere.

And most importantly, is your job good for meeting women?

I don’t generally treat women – my wife does – but I think they would be impressed if I told them in a bar because a lot of women like a flat tummy and I can help with that.

Finally what was your dream job growing up?

Actually, I always wanted to work in Customs and Excise. Funny