Redditors on AskReddit honorably took to their forum to answer a VERY important, dare I say, newsworthy question—"What's the best alternative word for erection?"
Of course, the responses were varying degrees of immature genius that gave us all sorts of Middle School feels. I mean, seriously, who was able to keep it together without bursting into laughter every time the teacher said "erection" in health class? I don't know about you guys, but I wasn't. I'm pretty sure I had to be escorted out of the classroom a few times. What can I say? I was a late bloomer.
While half-chub and boner will be my forever-favorite erection slang staples, these are pretty damn amazing. Ah, before I let you continue, I have a little fun fact! Boner used to be used a term referring to a blunder or mistake? Isn't that funny? There's definitely some irony there regarding how men behave when they're erect, but we can get into that fiasco in another article.
"Sex Pistol. Ashamed to say it took me way too long to realise where the band got the name."—captainfunder
"Bloody Love Weasel."—IraqLobstah
"One eyed purple headed yogurt slinger."—fwaht
"H.B.I. (hot beef injector)."—mack3r
"Big ol' stander."—JTCMuehlenkamp
"Two rocks and a hard place."—TheGovernor02
"Humble grundle bundle."—meanttodothat
"Phallic hydraulic meat sausage of impregnation."—chokingonlego
"The Dark Knight Rises."—Lichewitz
"Spam Javelin,"—flatulence wizard
To read the entire thread, which I highly recommend, head here.
Lead Image via Getty