50 Excuses That Every Man Should Use To Get Out Work

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Even you happen to love your job (because, really, I do) there comes a point and time when you've just had it—you get trapped in this unhealthy headspace where all you can think about is the idea that we're put on this earth to pay bills and die.

You need a day off! Not because you're sick, not because someone died, not because the government says so, but because YOU decided like damn grown up that you are.

Here's the problem though, getting out of work generally requires excuses. Even if you simply relay to HR that you won't be in, you still may have to deal with pesky questions from your boss or coworkers. No need to fret though, I've managed to compile a very solid list of 50, yes FIFTY excuses, that in all likelihood should work. If anything, some of them will make people so uncomfortable that they'll drop their inquires altogether. Nowhere in these 50 excuses will you find anything about faking someone's death or illness, that shit is BAD JUJU, don't put that out into the universe, guys.

I've broken them up into 5 separate categories for your reading convenience. Let's begin—

Animal/Nature Related Disasters

Household Chaos

Travel Troubles

I just want to say that as someone who experiences HELL with NJ Transit, it's really shitty to lie about such things, but it's okay, you guys deserve it—ALSO keep in mind these sorts of excuses can technically get you caught, because usually such news is reported!

Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes (And Basically Everything Else)

You CAN'T say someone else is sick, but you can lie about your own sickness. Nothing TOO serious that would require proof/last awhile

The Truth

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