Myths About Women In The Bedroom That Men Got Completely Wrong

Think you know what women want? Think again, pal. Our panel of experts — and 1,000 real life British women - reveal what ladies really want from the no-pants dance.


Rebecca Dakin: Author, expert and relationship and dating advisor.

Sara Pascoe: Comedian, possibly the funniest woman in Britain.

Lucy Hancock: Journalist, writes about all things sexual.

You think… you go solo more often than your missus.

The truth: Guys are a bigger bunch of wankers than girls - this much we know - but still, we discovered that 46% of women go solo at least once a week.

"Most of us have used a vibrator at some point," says Hancock. "But you'll be relieved to hear lots of ladies find the whole giant veiny plastic knob thing a bit gross-out, and stick to good old fashioned digits for stimulation. The bath is a very popular location for a bit of hands solo time - especially if you live in a house share - and a decent power shower attachment is a handy alternative to the tell-tale buzz of a vibrator."

So if the hot water is constantly running out at home, now you know why: it's the girls of the house buffering their bits into next week. Or an inadequate immersion heater. Either way it's pretty sexy though, right? Lads?

You think… girls are too emotional for one-night stands.

The truth: Imagine, if you will, a topsy-turvy world in which women enjoy one-night stands as much as men. Well, brave yourself soldier, for this world is not science fiction, but . And you live in it.

"Women have loads of one-night stands - they're just much more sneaky about it than you are," says Hancock. "There are many, many girls in this world who just want to get their rocks off - especially on holiday. Play your cards right and you could be relieving her of those rocks."

If you do find yourself in the not unlucky position of waking up in a total stranger's bed, rest assured there's no need to talk about marriage or invite you parents round to meet her. "You both know the game, so don't bother making false promises about slap-up meals and trips to the zoo. This is the 21st century. Sometimes great sex is just great sex."

You think… girls don't want threeway fun.

The truth: Highly arousing news flash: women find the idea of a third player as exciting as you.

"Fantasies about group sex are common,' says Pascoe. "Having said that, the of a threesome might be a sexy thing to imagine, but that doesn't necessarily translate to doing it. It's embarrassing enough having sex with one person."

A whopping 22% of female respondents admitted to having had a menage a trios - French for 'household of three', in case your sordid fact-hungry mind was wondering.

You think… women hate back door sex.

The truth:"For a lot of girls, anal sex is like going back to being a virgin again." says Hancock. "It's risky, uncharted territory and the fear that something unladylike might happen can override the please. Plus, she's probably been terrified by some ouch-y looking porn."

That's not to say it'll never happen - 41% of women said they were opening up to the idea - but you have to go about it in the right way. "That means loads of lube and doing it straight after a shower," adds Hancock.

Words by Dan Masoliver

Photography by Marshall Jones