If I Googled, "How to get laid" right now I'm fairly certain I'd come across millions of articles suggesting everything from colognes to wear to proper pick up lines to use. Here's the thing though — sometimes it's just not that serious. There's no specific equation that states A + B = a trip to Bone City. If you're lucky, sh*t will just fall into place for you! Maybe she digs your leather jacket, maybe you mention you have a dog and she digs that, maybe she just broke up with her boyfriend of 10-years and is looking for some spite sex — who knows?!
Fact is, people from near and far have found themselves into some RIDICULOUS situations that have lead to sexy-time and what better place to support that fact than Reddit? One such user, Somebodyoncetoldme, must've shared in that sentiment because they made it pretty darn simple for me to conduct research! The following grammatically incorrect question was posed —
"What's the stupidest way you got laid?"
- "My neighbor once asked me to help her de-bone a whole chicken when I walked in there was no chicken, so I walked into her room to ask where it was and she was naked. Reverse naked man-ed.... worked on me. Edit: Guy's I was the one that was Deboned." — Carameldelighting
- "Just got a new kitten. Was outside a club on my phone and locked it. Girl next to me saw my home screen of me with said kitten on my head. Asked about him and got talking. The night was winding up so I said I was gonna head home she goes in to grab her jacket and comes running back out asking to come back to my place and see my kitten. Things went as expected. Felines ended up being a bit of a theme for the rest of the night actually. Had the little guy maybe 4 days at that point. What a bro. He got a new bed the next day and more treats that he knew what to do with." — Boreal_Tri
Well, That Escalated Quickly...
- "Was at a new year's party. At midnight, my best friend grabbed the back of my head, and the back of the head of the girl standing next to me, and shoved our faces together for the new year kiss. We ended up in an upstairs bedroom not long after." — baldman1
- "I once got a blowjob because I gave a girl my last slice of pizza." — ColdBeef
Also Seems Logical
- "Told a girl who liked pandas that I also liked pandas." — michaelscottspenis
Throw Up That Shocker Symbol
- "Working abroad in Spain for a few months as part of a college program. Got pretty close with a handful of guys and girls and we would all go out together. One night I'm dancing with one of them and I'm super drunk, so I lean in and say "Hey do you want to shock the world," trying to hook up with her. That (clearly) did not work, but the next day I brushes it off and laughed about it with everyone. Week later we're all out again and a different girl in our friend group asks me if I "want to shock the world." End up taking her home." — ickyscarfo
A Simple Exchange
- Me: "I need to get laid." Roommate: "Wanna have sex?" — UnnamedNamesake
His Milkshake Brought His Wife To The Yard
- "Bought a girl a milkshake during college orientation. 5 years later, we got married. And that's the story of how I got laid." — KnowLoitering
To read the full thread, head HERE.
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