7 Surprising Benefits Of Drinking Booze (No, We're Not Drunk)

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While the phrases "benefits of alcohol" and "benefits of drinking alcohol" surely seem like oxymorons to anyone reading, we promise, we're not pulling your leg (or liver, for that matter). Alcohol, in moderation, has a surprising amount of positive effects on the human body. Of course, drinking in moderation is a foreign concept to most people, so if you're looking for an excuse to binge-drink like a college lacrosse player in a fraternity, you've come to the wrong place.

In accordance with Mayo Clinic, if you're not a drinker, by no means should you start drinking just to reap these benefits. At the end of the day, NO alcohol will always be better. However, as realists (and drinkers) it's best to keep the people (you) informed.


Benefits Of Drinking Alcohol (In Moderation)

"In a 2009 study published in the, Journal of Sexual Medicine, researchers found that the chances of erectile dysfunction were reduced by 25 to 30 percent among alcohol drinkers."

"In 2002, researchers in Spain followed 4,300 healthy adults, examining their habits and susceptibility to colds. The study, in The American Journal of Epidemiology, found no relationship between the incidence of colds and consumption of beer, spirits, Vitamin C or zinc. But drinking 8 to 14 glasses of wine per week, particularly red wine, was linked to as much as a 60 percent reduction in the risk of developing a cold."

8-14 glasses of red wine a week? Yeah, I think we can make that work. Granted, if we're in the right mood 8-14 glasses of red wine in a few hours is likely, but, again! Moderation is key here people. Let's continue...

"A study found that men who drank wine had a life expectancy 3.8 years longer than those who drank no alcohol. These wine drinkers also had a life expectancy two years longer than those who drank other alcoholic beverages, it found."

"A small study published last week in the Journal of Psychopharmacology shows that a small amount of alcohol can help people speak a foreign language better. Researchers found that imbibing helped people speak a non-native language more fluently, even when they didn’t think they were doing that well."

That about sums it up, guys! Again, this isn't meant to be a justification for your Dickensian behavior. Nobody likes the town drunk. Just take solace in knowing that knocking back a couple of glasses of wine every now and again does the body good. Beyond that, you're sh*t out of luck. Yes, that means NO Jäger Bombs this weekend, you degenerates.

Image Via Showtime

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