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When brunch was first invented back in the late-1800s in the Five Points, it was, and still is, a way to bring relief to ailing hangovers. Seriously, it really is meant to add nourishment in the form of food and hearty drinks. Like the Gangs of New York, these gents would turn to their local pub looking for blood — Bloody Mary's, that is. People have continued to enjoy kegs and eggs over brunch ever since, making Sunday Funday, well, the best day!
Brunch is a really a holy occasion. Like temple on Saturday or church on Sunday, it's sacred. It cleanses your hangover like confession wipes away all of your sins. But, sometime, around the late-1990s, bar owners started to realize something. People who come in for a morning drink aren't slamming 20 of these puppies down, they're here for a purpose now.
Brunch drinks are either heavy like a Lager or mostly fruit juice like a Mimosa. Whichever you choose, it's really hard to consume too many in the early afternoon. At some point, it must've clicked for some brilliant barkeep to make bottomless brunch. From an outside stance, it looks like a great deal. 40 bucks, give or take, and you get a delicious meal, some delicatessens and bottomless drinks. Bottomless! Meaning that, you got it, the well doesn't run dry. But here's the kicker, Bottomless Brunch is a scam!
It's impossible to get your money out of a bottomless brunch when you're mostly drinking OJ with a splash of $7 bottles of champagne. Mix in the fact that a majority of people who come for brunch are responsible adults who are only here to consume a drink or two, and it’s hard to really enjoy it. It’s at this point that you might be asking yourself who the hell would come to brunch to slam 25 Mimosas, right? Well, for starters, me — and, possibly, you!
Men have been doing boozy brunch all wrong. It's a glitch in the system; a loophole of sorts. A great opportunity to hash up last night's regrets and nurse your hangover. When we use a few of these battle tested pro-tips, though, it's easy to take advantage of the system and have a Sunday Funday to remember.
Sitting at the bar during brunch is the best way to get your dollars’ worth. Making a friend with the bartender is always sound advice. And when you're breaking bread with them over some sports, it's easier than it looks. Believe me, the Mimos will get stronger with every round.
Don't Eat A Heavy Meal
No steak and eggs. No French toast with a side of bacon. The more you eat, the more lethargic you'll be. So keep it light and leave some room for a couple cocktails, will ya?
Turn Your Daytime Drunk Into A Rousing Adventure
Brunch doesn't have to lead to a sloppy afternoon or a nap — although naps are dope. You can leverage a good morning buzz into all sorts of activities, like a good ol’ fashioned Sunday Funday to enjoying a day at the park with your lady. So long as there's no driving, it's the weekend, so you're free to explore.
So, next time you come into a bottomless brunch, come with purpose — that being to leave with a buzz and get into a situation. Get your money's worth, get full and enjoy your time away from work responsibly. Monday comes too quickly for us all, so take advantage of God's bountiful gift, bottomless brunch.
Lead image via Getty.