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There's really no easy way to tackle the topic of a cheating significant other. On one hand you can argue it's the most cut and dry way to end a relationship — someone cheated, game over! Let's keep it moving, right? Well, as with most things involving the human psyche, it's not that simple. Cheating comes with a whole slew of emotional trauma on behalf of the cheater and cheated. Fortunately for you guys, we're not here to discuss that aspect of this shitty topic, but rather what comes before — the investigation, dun, dun, dun.
So before you can even kick that lying, conniving, manipulative, bit—woah, woah, gotta calm down. Give me a second. Alright, better! Basically before you can even entertain the idea of breaking up with a cheater, you need to prove that they are, in fact, a cheater and here's how.
According to multiple sources, including,Illicit Encounters, a dating site geared toward extramarital affairs, suggests that most cheaters like to get their shameful fix on Mondays. While it may seem confusing, the rationalization is actually quite sound, when you really think about it. It's the least obvious day, no? I mean most people assume cheating to be this sexy, weekend tryst in the back of a fancy martini bar — not the case. It's much easier to get your rocks off with your side piece when you're S.O. thinks you're at the office. So, in that capacity, if you suspect your partner is cheating, surprise them at work Monday morning, or at the very least call the office to see if they're around (ideally between 8:00 - 9:00 AM). Do this a couple of times to find that they're MIA, you may have caught yourself a cheater.
Do you find that your partner is being more emotionally attentive lately? Are they buying you nice gifts? Do they shy away when you return the kindness? If so, something is definitely up. Unless you're dating a Grade A Sociopath who isn't phased by their cheating (which, it's been suggested I am, so take it from me), then you're S.O. is feeling guilty — point blank. There are plenty of other emotional signs to be aware of as well, it's not JUST about the physical.
While emotional focus is key, you do have to acknowledge everything else, no matter how disgusted you may feel. When you're having sex with someone you suspect is cheating, be VERY attentive to every-little-thing they do. Is their tongue doing something new? Where did they learn that maneuver? Since when don't they like this? This will be more apparent if they're having an affair versus just a one-time pump and dump, but rest assured, a change in the bedroom is cause for trouble.
Obviously, if they come home smelling like another person with a condom wrapper in their pocket, you've caught yourself a cheater. I needed to reiterate this for good measure, because some people really don't enjoy seeing the writing on the damn wall. Stop making excuses! No, they didn't fall vagina-first into a cologne salesperson at Macy's. I don't care if you stay with them, whatever, that's your drama, but don't deny it to yourself — that's just too pathetic for words.
I'm going to save the one I have found to be absolutely foolproof for last. This isn't based on anything other than experience (from relationships I've been in/witnessed). If you find them picking fights with you out of the blue over the most inconsequential happenings, they're hiding something. it's not always cheating, but its something, I can promise you that. 99.9percent of the time when people lash out, you're not the issue.
Happy hunting, fellas! Isn't love just grand?!
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