Dad’s Facebook Post About His Toddler’s ‘Poop Explosion’ Is The Best Birth Control EVER

I genuinely want children some day, so when I suggest that what you're about to see is awesome birth control—I don't mean forever, I just mean for now (like 5-10 years, for now).

I don't even make my own bed in the morning! I always forget my lunch and my idea of going to sleep at a decent hour is 3 AM. I hardly think I'm able to deal with the literal shit storm that IS having a toddler, but boy oh boy, do I respect the people that do and Jesse Mab-Phea Hill is damn fine example of that.

In a Facebook post that has since been shared 115, 112 times with over 90,000 likes, this amazing dad from Omaha, Nebraska wrote—

"So I was having a pretty good day. Dropped the boy off at school, worked out, let the dogs outside and began chilling like a boss in my man cave in the basement. Mayra was out teaching her workout class, Alessandra was sleep in her room and the dogs were outside. I had the house to myself and I was taking full advantage of watching unimpeded YouTube videos. I decided I wanted a piece of the chocolate cake we made for Jesse's Cub Scout thing the other day, so I made my way up to the main floor. As I'm going upstairs I smell something foul. I scan the basement from the stairs thinking the dogs dropped a deuce before I let them outside. I see nothing..... And then my blood runs cold when I realize the stink is coming from the upper floor. I run up the stairs screaming no, no, no, no, till I get to Alessandra's room. There she is, standing at the baby gate, butt naked, holding her diaper, covered head to toe in her own crap. Im not talking a little poop here and there on her. I'm talking layered on globs of human fecal matter covering her arms, legs, face and HAIR. It's bad. It's worse then any other time she decided to explore in her diaper."

To read his full post, head HERE and be sure to check out the hilarious, albeit gross, pictures below.

The Sun

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