5 Modern Dating Rules You Should Stop Following Immediately...Unless You're Cool With Dying Single

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Modern dating culture has become the social equivalent of a colonoscopy — invasive and uncomfortable, but ultimately necessary for your overall health. Problem is, unlike a colonoscopy, dating doesn't have to be that way! The BS dating rules and regulations that millennials have somehow forced upon, well, themselves, really need to be abolished. Yes, I'm using the word abolished. It's that serious!

I overhear men and women alike (on a daily basis) freaking out over the most asinine problems — "Should I text them? It's only been a day! What if I look too needy? Is 'Hi' better than 'Hey'? Does this emoji make me look thirsty?" In truth, I don't even know how a F'in emoji can make someone look thirsty, but I'm sure there's protocol for that too! It's like a bunch of 20-somethings sat down and decided to make an already difficult thing even more difficult, implementing rules no one even asked for!

To put it bluntly, y'all sound like you need to be medicated, and while I'm sure Big Pharma would love it for every millennial to be hopped up on Xanax from now until our last dying breath, maybe it's best to take a figurative chill pill instead. Throw caution to the wind and stop listening to what you should be doing on dates and start doing what you want to do on dates.

In order to implement this strategy however, we're gonna have to erase some of the garbage. It's time to reverse-inception your asses. Queue "Eye of the Tiger". Below you'll find a list of modern dating rules I want you to read, process, then completely ignore for the rest of your natural born life.

No Sex On The First Date


"72-Hour Rule"


You Can't Talk About Politics, Money, Or Religion


Don't Bring Up Your Ex


You Can't Hang Out Two Days In A Row


That about sums it up, guys. The sooner you reprogram your brain, the sooner you'll actually start to look forward to the dating experience. In the event you're too cowardly to implement my advice, I'd like to direct you to Petfinder.com, because the only successful relationship you're going to have is with an animal (no judgement, just facts).

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