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Gambler Wins $10.7 Million By Playing Penny Slots, So I'm Marching My Ass To Vegas And Testing My Luck

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As someone who has never won jack shit while gambling, I'm more than just a little pissed off about this story that came out yesterday about a lady at the Wynn Casino in Las Vegas winning $10.7 million. Don't get me wrong, kudos to her for getting lucky as hell, but when you hear how she instantly became a millionaire, you may be share in my jealousy.

Apparently, the lady—who hails from Oahu, Hawaii—placed $3 bets on penny slots, continuing to pull the lever until, SURPRISE, she landed the mother of all jackpots and won $10,777,270.51.

via GIPHY

According to The Daily Mail, the woman *is" forced to pay a $1 million tax to her home state of Hawaii because of some stupid law they have—even though she didn't win the jackpot there—so that makes me feel a little bit less upset. Still, $10.7 million on fucking penny slots, guys; why can't nice things like this happen to you or me?

H/T BroBible