Image via HBO
Six words, seven syllables, a whole lot of PTSD — today I'm going to be discussing Game of Thrones, "The Red Wedding" and why we all should have said piss off to the series right then and there. Look, don't get me wrong, I F'in love GoT. I'm not a full-blown dragon junkie or anything, but I'm what you would call an enthusiast. I know enough about the characters and plot points to carry on an educated conversation, but not enough to be accepted into the underground cult following on reddit, which, really, is OK with me.
That being said, after the announcement that Game of Thrones won't be returning until 2019, I've started to feel a little buyer's remorse. How on earth did I let myself get so wrapped in a show that gets off on toying with viewers? Hell, they killed the leading character in season one! Of course, as we know all too well, Ned Stark getting his head chopped off doesn't hold a candle to season three's massacre.
Season three, episode nine, “The Rains of Castamere", more commonly referred to as "The Red Wedding" was bullsh*t. King Robb Stark? Dead. Lady Catelyn Stark? Dead. Queen Talisa Stark? Dead. Lord Gregor Forrester? Dead. Robb and Talisa's unborn child? Dead. Are you noticing a pattern? Hang on, I'm not done — Ser Wendel Manderly? Dead. Grey Wind? Dead.
Between the unborn child and the dire wolf, we should have been out! George R.R. Martin is a sadist and the showrunners, David Benioff and Dan Weiss, aren't any better. Had we all bailed, maybe we wouldn't be in this endless predicament. For starters, who knows if civilization will even make it to 2019. Secondly, knowing how cruel this show can be, do you guys really think for a second this series is going to end happily? I think "The Red Wedding" set a precedent that viewer's seem to forget — or at the very least, ignore — anyone is up for grabs! Yes, that means Daenerys, Jon, and Tyrion too.
My guess? Every character we hold dear is going to be brutally murdered and Cersei is going to marry the Night King. OK, not really that second part, but definitely the first. What can I say? I've got a bad feeling, guys. I'd love to be wrong, but as mentioned, "The Red Wedding" proves it all! When you play the game of thrones, you win or you die — but mostly die.
Lead Image via HBO