It was either Friedrich Nietzsche or the Backstreet Boys that once said, "Life without music is meaningless." Well, we here at FHM would have to agree, especially when some of the hottest music videos around accompany said music.
We understand that there have been sexy music videos going all the way back to, oh, the beginning of music videos, so no one should be shocked that these things exist. But narrowing down the hottest music videos of all-time? That got tricky — but we still challenged ourselves to at least try and tackle the topic.
14. N.E.R.D — "Lapdance"
N.E.R.D confess from the outset that they are, "dirty dogs," and we can believe it as we're treated to steamy scenes of strippers teaming up on the band. Even the government "are talking like strippers" in this, one of the sexiest music videos around. These guys clearly have lap dancers on the brain, and on other body parts, too!
13. Usher — "Trading Places"
A lesson in seduction that we will probably never be able to imitate. Still, Usher lets his girl take charge whilst wearing some mighty oversized shades and jamming on a transparent piano. Smooooooth.
12. Christina Aguilera — "Dirrty"
One of the archetypal sexy music videos ever, Christina Aguilera gets down and dirty (and rather sweaty) in the boxing ring. Piercing eyes and shocking blonde dreadlocks are combined with an ability to kick ass, which she does well, to some unfortunate masked beauty.
11. Madonna — "Justify My Love"
Madonna looking particularly inviting in a silk slip with the sultriness turned up to eleven in this black and white epic is what makes it one of the hottest music videos ever. Forget the fact that it's not "peak" Madonna from the '80s, 'cause she's still super saucy in this music video. Throw in a body-morphing specialist with exceptionally long nails and a great deal of naughty whispering, and you've got an extremely sexy video.
10. Shakira — "She Wolf"
We couldn’t have compiled this list without a certain Columbian with very honest hips. Shakira — the bendiest woman in pop — inhabits a sparkly red love cave and wears a saucy dress that tricks you into thinking she’s actually starkers. Spanish soccer player Gerard Pique is a very, very lucky man.
9. Rihanna — "Where Have You Been?"
Rihanna emerges from the water like an Amazonian queen before transforming herself into a very sexy desert princess. We're then transported back to the '80s, as she dons a wild hair-do, with the room then filled with smoke for no apparent reason other than it being a bit sexy... Something for everyone!
8. t.A.t.U — "All The Things She Said"
What’s not to like about two faux Russian lesbians messing around in the pouring rain? A little creepy, what with the ‘parents’ peering through the fence at the two girls, but there’s definitely something beautiful about the inevitable kiss and the girls strolling off hand in hand at the end. Who says romance is dead, ey?
7. Nicky Minaj — "Super Bass"
When it comes to gaudy color, Nicki Minaj really is unparalleled. Amongst shocking pinks, yellows and baby blues, the rapper seduces various well-built ‘American guys’ in her inimitable style. She is curvy, in-your-face and impossible to ignore — an absolute requirement in all of the hottest music videos.
6. Kylie Minogue — "Can’t Get You Out Of My Head"
When you talk about the hottest music videos ever, Australian dimepiece Kylie Minogue is of course in the conversation! Here's what happens when you take a pint-sized Aussie with a famous derriere and wrap her in a bed sheet. Contrasted by bright red lipstick, Minogue is devastatingly attractive, teasing the camera with every shake of her cape.
5. Lady Gaga ft. Beyonce — "Telephone"
With a nine-and-a-half minute, epic set in a women’s prison, this is Lady Gaga at her bizarre best. Accompanied by tattoo-laden inmates, Gaga finds herself at various points clad only in ‘Crime Scene’ tape. Luckily, Beyonce is on hand to bail her out in the Pussy Wagon from Kill Bill, where the sexy pair proceed to poison unsuspecting diners. Majorly hot femme fatale points.
4. Robyn — "Indestructible"
The action here switches between intimate bedroom scenes and Robyn clothed in a tubed outfit meant (we think) to replicate veins in the body. Weird outfits aside, though, we’re treated to a few extremely dirty moments that should be just about enough to distract your attention, earning it a high spot on this hottest music videos list.
3. Benny Benassi — "Satisfaction"
Who knew that hot women conducting DIY could be so damn sexy? This vid has the feel of a supercharged B&Q advert with a great deal of sweating, lip-licking and general waggling. You’re even provided with some handy power tool buying advice; which is a thoughtful touch.
2. Chris Isaak — "Wicked Game"
Whether it's the soothing sound of the guitar or the video itself — which features the sexy Helena Christensen rolling around on the beach — it's hard to match Chris Isaak's "Wicked Game" when it comes to love-making. Released all the way back in 1990, Isaak's black and white video stands the test of time, and remains sizzling hot!
1. The White Stripes — "I Don’t Know What To Do With Myself"
We feel your pain, Jack White. After three tantalizing minutes of watching Kate Moss frolic and pole dance in her panties, we weren’t quite sure what to do with ourselves either. And, for that reason, The White Stripes own the top spot of the hottest music videos ever!
_ Words: _ Tom Ryder
Lead image via YouTube.