As the last few snowflakes of winter fall, we're reminded that cuffing season is finally F'in over. You can stop forcing a relationship out of necessity and start living a life of sweet freedom. In the event you're in a happy, healthy relationship, by all means, don't break up with your girlfriend. But, if you find yourself day dreaming of a commitment-free summer, you know it's time to break things off.
Trouble is, ending a relationship on good terms is about the most difficult human interaction on the planet. One person is always left feeling like they got the short end of the stick and, unfortunately, if you're not careful, things can get pretty freakin' ugly. That's where we come in! By following this simple seven-step process, you'll be able to walk away from your winter fling unscathed — leaving your former lady satisfied and not cursing the male species for the rest of her days. Sounds like a win-win, right?
Do It In Person
Even if you're ending a relationship that was strictly physical, you need to do it in person. Sending a text, email, or hell, a carrier pigeon, is basically the most cowardly thing a man can do. At the end of the day, it's not the most comfortable situation, but own up to it, it'll work out in the long run. Breaking up with a woman should be handled with the same level of respect as dating one, remember that.
Do It In Private
Ending a relationship in public sounds like a good idea in theory, but, in actuality, it will 100% blow up in your face. Don't run the risk of causing a scene, it's not worth it. Relationships are private and intimate, yes? Why should breaking up be any different?
Never Mention Other People
Guys, this is absolutely non-negotiable. Even if you've met the absolute love of your life, you can in no way mention this. Is honesty the best policy? In most cases, yes. In this case, no. There's no need to add insult to injury here, it's just cruel.
Make It Seem Like It Was "Her" Idea
This is going to take a little manipulation, but it's pretty effective nonetheless. Just sit there and rattle off all your flaws. By the time you're done highlighting how crappy you are, she'll be out the door all on her own.
Use Mild Language/Never Raise Your Voice
It's all about the golden rule, guys. Treat others the way you would want to be treated. End your relationship with the same level of decorum you'd expect someone to exhibit for you, it's that simple. No name calling or screaming necessary, we promise. You'll get your point
You may get hit with a, "sorry isn't good enough", but, hey! At least you tried. It's hard to freak out on somehow who's apologizing excessively. It'll also make you look like a wimp, which will feed into the whole "make it seem like her idea" approach. Women don't generally respond well to men pleading like small children, just sayin'.
If All Else Fails, Cry Like A Baby
It's pretty self-explanatory, guys. It's not the most noble, chivalrous approach, but sometimes you just got to do what you got to do. Thankfully, women are generally the more forgiving sex. It's very unlikely that she'll end up laughing at you (no promises, though).
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