Unless there's some cruel and unusual tolerance involved, EVERYONE loves beer. Seriously, I honest to God can't think of a single person who genuinely doesn't like beer. I know a few people who didn't like it when they were younger, but have grown to appreciate the taste as the years have gone by, as any sane person should.
Sure, it's fattening and it makes you bloat and burp, but whatever. Beer is meant to be simple, no bells, no whistles, no chaser, no little umbrellas. It's a drink for the people, by the people! No idea what I mean by that, but I'm going to run with it.
I prefer my beer on tap, not out of a bottle or a can. I did that sh-t all throughout high school (or uh, you know, when I first turned 21) and now that I'm grown, I want some class in my life! I apologize to anyone sipping a Natural Ice tall boy right now, but really, you NEED to grow up.
Anyway, despite the fact that I prefer my beer on tap, doesn't mean I always have to go to a bar or brewery. There's these beautiful, silver, glistening things called kegs that given the proper sized house party you can come in contact with every now and then. Here's the thing though, it's not that easy to tap a keg, or rather, everyone THINKS they know what they're doing but that's rarely the case. Exhibit A:
Unless you want to end up like those dudes, follow these helpful hints from some Home Brewing Experts:
After picking up the keg, place it where you want to have it for serving and let it set a while. Remember, you’ve just taken a very large beer can and wrestled it out of the store, into your car, out of your car and into your garage, kitchen, backyard or basement. Chances are rolling of the keg was involved.
Remove the plastic or cardboard cap from the fixture on top of the keg.
Get your tap, making sure it is not “engaged”(this will give you a “beer shampoo”). Line the notches up with the hole at the top of the keg. You'll notice a few open slits at the top of the keg and a ball bearing in the middle. The slits guide the tap's notches and hold the tap in place. The ball bearing serves as a stopper, forced up from the pressure inside the keg. You're about to “screw” the tap into place.
Push down. You need to push the ball bearing down to allow beer flow. You don’t need to he-man this, but a little pressure is needed.
Slide the tap into place in a clockwise motion, while maintaining the downward pressure. Don’t let up, you need to keep pushing down as you spin the tap into place. Once it's turned into place, it should lock there from the pressure in the keg.
Pour about six cups of beer or a pitcher. Don’t be alarmed, there WILL be foam. When the foam falls, the pitcher should be about half full. You should be pouring without any foam at this point.