October 31 is nearly here and things are getting spooky as Halloween approaches. But how do you know if you’ve gone too far with your haunted house get-together? Luckily, FHM Girlfriend Yasmin and our relationship editor "Girl On The Net" are here with some Halloween tips to make it the spookiest (and sexiest) holiday yet!
She’s come dressed as a sexy nurse and, instead of the usual clichés, you tell her she’s a credit to the National Health Service and deserves a pay rise as well as a generous pension.
Yasmin Says: "Is this a compliment?"
Girl On The Net Says: "If she’s not impressed, any nearby nurses would probably like your number."
FHM Says: "It’s wordy, but a big step up from, “You must be a nurse because you just cured my erectile dysfunction.”
In an attempt at total authenticity, you’ve filled your house with real spiders and frogs.
Yasmin Says: "This is so not OK… it sounds more like a nightmare!"
Girl On The Net Says: "10 out of 10 for effort, zero out of 10 for hotness."
FHM Says: "Best go for cute puppies, adorable kittens and cuddly daddy longlegs instead."
You turn up to the fancy-dress party dressed as her.
Yasmin Says: "Now this is funny, because chances are I came dressed as you."
Girl On The Net Says: "This is the most hilarious Halloween costume idea I’ve ever heard. Who wrote these scenarios? Will they go out with me?"
FHM Says: "Yes, we will."
You’ve doctored the Ouija board so that it spells out ‘I Love You'.
Yasmin Says: "I know how hard it is for you to express your feelings, so it’s nice to see you making an effort."
Girl On The Net Says: "Cute idea, but if any other women join in the game, your adorable trick will just spell ‘T.R.O.U.B.L.E.’"
FHM Says: "There’s a strong chance of possession by demons, and that didn’t work out well in The Exorcist, did it?"
You’ve carved her likeness into a pumpkin.
Yasmin Says: "All we really want is for you to put a little time and effort into something… it shows how much you care."
Girl On The Net Says: "If you did this for me I would shag you on the spot."
FHM Says: "Book October off work and get practicing."
You’ve given all of your little cousin’s sweets to her with a note saying, ‘I didn’t think you could get any sweeter x’.
Yasmin Says: "I like the thought, but you shouldn’t steal from the kids."
Girl On The Net Says: "Excellent seduction tactic. I am 80 per cent more likely to fancy someone if they give me food."
FHM Says: "Sweets are bad for children and make them run around like lunatics. Good work."
You’ve learned the entire routine to Michael Jackson’s Thriller and make everyone watch until you get it right.
Yasmin Says: "If you did it once, I’d think you were funny. Making us watch it over and over seems like you’re a bit into yourself."
Girl On The Net Says: "I reckon you’d get a maximum of two attempts before I wandered off to refill my drink. If you’re going to do it, you’d better nail it first time."
FHM Says: "Stick with the Macarena."
Your zombie costume is so realistic that the army has set up a biohazard quarantine around the house.
Yasmin Says: "That’s cool — it shows you can commit to something and follow it though."
Girl On The Net Says: "Scientific studies have shown that fear is often linked to arousal. That’s one reason we love horror movies. So why not?"
FHM Says: "Whether or not she could survive the inevitable zombie apocalypse should be the first question you ask yourself. If not, walk away."