Ironically enough, I was having a conversation like this with my best friend not too long ago. No, we weren't discussing inappropriate children's literature, but rather how we planned (in the future) to discuss things like sex and anatomy with our children. I went with a more medical approach, insisting there's no harm in saying, "penis" or, "vagina" in front of a child. She was less-receptive, suggesting "private parts."
Frankly, in comparison to what I'm about to show you, I think using the phrase "big ol' d-ck" in front of a child would be less of a fail than these titles. Seriously, I'm not kidding. You could scream that in a child's face this very minute and I STILL wouldn't judge you as hard as some of these authors/illustrators/publishers.
If you're not familiar with Facts Verse on YouTube essentially, they're a hub of mindless information. That's not to say a lot of it isn't interesting, because it is! It's just that I'd most likely never care to know about things like, "Most Awkward Family Photos" or, "10 Cartoon Characters That Exist In Real Life" unless someone mentioned it to me. In which case, I suppose their strategy is working. It's things you didn't think you gave a shit about, until you saw them in front of you.
I won't lie to you guys, some of those we're pretty freaking hilarious. But, in-between my fits of laughter, I started to think of the larger picture—that larger picture being: THE CHILDREN. How did these get published? I mean, I get it, if Snooki and The Jenner Sisters can write a book, I guess anyone can, but I guess I thought when it came to educating the youth, we were more careful. Should of known better!
- Polly Paints A Penis
- Please Don't Touch My Tomato
- Who Cares About Elderly People?
- It Hurts When I Poop!
- My First Cavity Search
- Don't Make Me Go Back, Mommy
- The Gas We Pass
- My Beautiful Mommy
- Monsters Eat Whiny Children
- The Man, The Horse
Lead image via YouTube.