Here's Why You Should Never Eat Moldy Bread (So Avoid Just 'Cutting Around It')

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I'm REALLY not sure why this needs to be clarified for anyone with half a functioning brain, but if nothing else it's the job of internet writers to fully prevent people from doing dumb shit they should already know not to do. So I won't complain, I'll just inform. It's my civic duty.

Anyway, the reason I'm SO aware of how bad eating mold can be, is easily traceable to a very disturbing episode of House starring Hugh Laurie I once saw. I don't remember the exact details, I just know this poor woman was hospitalized for hallucinations and Dr. House couldn't figure out why until he ended up going to her house to check her kitchen whereupon he found the moldy bread she had been snacking on like ballpark f'in peanuts!! Whether that episode holds any basis in reality is of no consequence to me. There's two things I know for certain. I love carbs and I hate hallucinogens so I'm surely not about to combine them.

That's why I avoid mold like the plague but it seems other people think you can just, "cut around it." Look, I understand that logic but think of this way. Mold spreads just like a disease. If a disease were to spread from your foot to your arm, you couldn't get rid of it by cutting off the foot, ya feel me? Sorry for the graphic imagery. Keep all your limbs and God bless.

Uproxx reported that food experts from NPR decided to investigate the mold matter once for all. As per NPR:

“We don’t recommend cutting mold off of bread, because it’s a soft food,” says Marianne Gravely, a senior technical information specialist for the United States Department of Agriculture. “With soft food, it’s very easy for the roots [of the mold], or the tentacles, or whatever creepy word you want to use, to penetrate” deeper into the food.

Don't worry, it gets worse, like "good luck breathing" worse:

"Gravely says people who eat moldy food may suffer allergic reactions and respiratory problems. Even inhaling mold can be dangerous. To avoid breathing mold, the USDA recommends putting food in a plastic bag and then in a covered trashcan, out of the reach of children and animals."

I'm going to say it louder for the people in the back, DO NOT EAT MOLDY BREAD. Even if you're in the tightest financial spot of your life, it's better to starve than ingest this sh-t, I promise. If you won't listen to me, NPR should have been convincing enough.

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