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Sure, we've all probably used some sort of online dating before, but when that fails, many men find themselves helpless and looking for answers, wondering what in the hell they can turn to next. Well, some of them land on mail-ordered brides, pairing them up with a complete stranger who they may or may not have anything in common with.
And while I'm not one to pass judgement, after men who have done this very thing took to Reddit to talk about their experiences, well, yeah, it's an interesting lifestyle.
- One of my mom's friend's married a mail order bride from the Philippines about ten years ago. I spent New Years at their house two years ago and let me tell you it's even creepier in person than you ever dreamed it could be. He's approaching 80 by now and she's mid-thirties. He just hangs off of her, insisting on PDA at every opportunity. I think she's remarkably well-adjusted given the circumstance. Over the years she's saved enough money to bring over several family members, which I'm sure is some welcome solace.
- Some guy in my small hometown married a Filipino "mail order" bride. Guy was kind of a creep and it didn't last. She left him and got a minimum wage job at a fisheries shop (grueling work for no money). She cried when she got her first paycheck, she couldn't believe how much money it was. Really put my quality of life into perspective. I'm pretty rich for a poor person and I occasionally remember this tidbit when I lose my way.
- My father's cousin brought back a Vietnamese wife from the war (I believe she was a prostitute). He's long since passed, but at the rare gathering on that side of the family that woman is a fucking riot. She hugs everyone and loudly proclaims how good it is to see/meet us and is super enthusiastic about everything. She shares no blood with any of us and she is the happiest person to see every single family member. It was pretty damn funny learning her story after the fact.
- My dad had one a few years back. He met her online and flew out to get her after a while. She was a shut in and was legitimately afraid of me because she thought I was smoking pot. Funny thing was that I had never smoked weed at the time (I was 17). It was a weird dynamic. If I was home she stayed in her room, unless I had been in my room for an extended period and she deemed it safe to get food from the kitchen. My room was in the basement just for clarification. The few times we crossed paths she would see me, gasp and then run to her room. My dad never saw this as a problem. He basically catered to her every want and need. Also I should mention he was 56 and she was 29. A year later I moved out. Since then she has attacked him on two occasions and had him arrested... Eventually he sent her back, or maybe she left I dont know. I no longer speak to my father so that's the extent of my knowledge.
- I dated a girl whose dad had a mail order bride. It took them two months to figure out why she wasn't learning anything from her English classes. Turns out the school had messed up and put her in German. You can't make this shit up.
- My dad has a mail-order bride. It feels so fucking weird typing that out, only a handful of people know about it. He met her on a website, flew over to visit, was married by the time he got back, and now I have a half sister.
- I think an old high school buddy of mine did this. Went off to college on the west coast, came back with a Thai wife who barely spoke any English. He spoke a bit of Thai, but not much. They were together for about 3 years, then she just up and disappeared one morning. Leaving their son behind. Not sure what happened to her. He claimed she went back to see her family. We joke that he killed her. He may have killed her though.
- This weird, creepy friend-of-a-friend married one. He was a Desert Storm vet with PTSD and maybe mild autism. We used to go shooting with him sometimes because we were extremely bad at making life decisions. Once, he showed up at my friends house and no one was home, so he let himself in and sat quietly in the living room with the lights off for several hours until we got back, gave us a hell of a scare. Anyhow, he met this stunning Ukrainian woman on one of those mail-order bride sites and sort of dropped off the map. A couple years later I ran into him at a thrift store and he told me about how they're both bounty hunters now.
- My friend Richard has a mail-order bride from the Philippines. He's a scruffy redneck long-haul trucker from West Virginia, she's tiny, slender, and ten years his junior. At first she cooked, cleaned, and kept his bed warm, but after a few years she told him she wanted an education. He put in a ton of overtime and saved up enough to put her through college. She's a physician's assistant now and makes more money than he ever has, but she still makes him dinner and makes a point of always being waiting at the door when he gets back from a long haul. They've been together for 20 years now and its a joy to see them together.
Again, I'm not one to judge another person's decision, but ordering a bride just doesn't seem like it's for me. For the full thread, head on over to Reddit and see other experiences and decide for yourself what you think of all this.