My philosophy is that you should only be able to masturbate material that you can actually spell. For example, if you can spell autoerotic asphyxiation without Googling it, then by all means—wank away, my friend. Otherwise maybe stick to, I don't know, MILF porn. Oh wait, turns out folks can't even spell that in certain states. Excuse me while I pray for a moment.
Alright, all done. See, that's how you know that I'm not like most people—I don't care if you watch porn all day, everyday! I just wish people would take more time when it comes to spelling and grammar, that's all! P.S. If you find a typo in this article, feel free to ream me.
Moving forward, thanks to this amazing infographic, provided below, we're able to tell exactly which terms are being misspelled and in what states. How fun! Take a look:
My absolute favorite is definitely, "Porm." It's actually not so much the misspelling that's amazing, it's the fact that someone has gone to PORN-HUB and then attempted to type PORN into the search engine. It's all porn! That's the point.
My second favorite is a tie between, "Lesbiam" and "Wbony." Oh shoot, I don't know though, maybe "Henti" is even funnier.
Lesbiam — With homosexuality being such a taboo/discriminated against lifestyle in Red states like Texas, it's pretty damn funny that they're not only actively searching for it, but spelling it wrong.
Henti — Hentai porn is the tentacle one, right?! Why is that being searching to begin with?! I don't usually order my porn with a side of squid, but Kayne shrug.
Wbony — I would really love to delve into a political/sociocultural diatribe right now, but I won't.