The 5 "Most Reasonable" Holidays To Dump Someone, As Told By (Savage) Research

Image via Getty

Out of the 365 days in a given year, a few of them are considered notable holidays. You've got Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentine's Day, New Year's Eve — you get the gist. As an easy reminder, just think of all the "Hallmark Holidays" that corporations make billions of dollars off of by preying on people's insecurities and emotions. While we aren't entirely inclined to champion these holidays as anything more than superficials dates on a calendar, we've got to admit, breaking up with someone on any of these days is just cold, man.

Want to dump someone on a holiday? Why not go with President's Day, or better yet, Cinco De Mayo? At least they can take their heartbroken ass to the bar afterward for some margaritas and guacamole. Unfortunately, according to a new poll conducted by AskMen neither of those are even in the running for the "most reasonable" holidays to dump someone:

"Out of the 668 people that answered our poll, nearly half (46%) of respondents think that Thanksgiving is the most reasonable holiday to break up with someone. Another 31% of folks believe that New Year's Eve is the most sensible holiday to break things off with your significant other. According to 16% of those polled, Valentine's Day is the most breakup-approved holiday. 5% of respondents think it's ok to breakup on her birthday, while less than 1% answered Christmas."

Let's just go ahead and summarize those statistics in list format, yeah? We think it will be easier to process the cruelty in the world that way:

  1. Thanksgiving — "It's not you, it's just that I'm not thankful for you."

  2. New Year's Eve — "Cheers to a new year without me."

  3. Valentine's Day — "Roses are red, violets are blue, I think I'd be better off with you."

  4. Their Birthday — "Up one year, down one significant other."

  5. Christmas — "'Tis the season to cry alone in your room."

We're sorry, but where the hell did you find these people to poll? An apartment complex full of sociopaths? The fact that anyone (man or female) would breakup with someone on Valentine's Day is just not OK. Their birthday? C'mon now! You can't wait until the day after even? Guys, no matter how miserable you are — be a man and do the right thing. Remember, 365 days in a year. Holidays should be off limits to breakups, case closed.

Lead Image via Getty


More From FHM

A Man's Guide To Being Single For The Holidays.

Ho, Ho, Help: Hanging Lights And 6 Other Christmas Responsibilities Men Can't Stand.

How To Navigate The Holidays And Deal With The Relationship 'Talk' (As Told By Model CJ Franco).