Rules On How To Watch Sports With A Girl Without Being A Total Jackass

Image via Instagram/jennifersterger

It's every guys' dream to find a woman who loves sports just as much, if not more, than he does. And while that might be next to impossible, we can all try, right?

Whether your lady friend is a newborn sports fan who can't even name the sport you're watching, or an expert who can list off random facts that even impress you, there's one thing us dudes all need to be aware of—watching the game we love doesn't mean we get to be jackass fans. That's right, there are rules.

And because football season is almost here and it's about to be the best time to love sports, we're reminding you how to appropriately watch games without coming off as an annoying embarrassment.

6. Never Wear A Jersey Tucked In

What, are you a dad with a bunch of kids who's driving a minivan to and from soccer practice, or a 20- or 30-something who has some self respect? While wearing a jersey of your favorite team should be used with caution regardless, if it's ever tucked in, you, my friend, deserve to be left all alone in the nosebleeds drowning your sorrows in $10 beers.

5. Don't Get Plastered


This should go without saying, but, because us dudes can sometimes throw our inhibitions to the wall, it's a friendly reminder that you're not watching sports with your buddies, so chugging a beer between commercial breaks or taking a shot every touchdown shouldn't apply when with a girl.

4. Never, Ever, Paint Your Face


Remember that Seinfeld episode that saw Puddy go to a Rangers-Devils game with his face painted, ultimately, embarrassing everyone who came within a few feet of him? Yeah... that. You're a grown-up with real-life responsibilities, dude, there's no way in hell you should lower yourself to a face painter who yells obnoxious things to opposing players and fans. Like, really, does you embarrassing your girl with paint on your face and yelling help the team you're cheering for play any harder? No, no it doesn't.

3. Don't Become An Encyclopedia

When guys are together and watching sports, it's pretty easy—and natural—to get into a dick-measuring contest about who knows more about the teams and players on TV. When with a girl, though, don't even think about it.

To put it bluntly, she's there as a kind gesture to you, wanting to take part in something that you're passionate about. When you get into sports trivia contest with your pals midway through the first quarter, though, she tones you out and is just left looking at her phone and bored out of her mind. Include her, but don't become Mr. Know-It-All.

2. Treat It Like A Date


While I don't have some sort of research to back my theory up, I'd say that more often than not, guys often forget that watching a sporting event with a girl is actually, you know, a date! It's easy to see why that might happen—given the copious amounts of beer and stadium food—but just because the two of you are surrounded by thousands of people doesn't mean the night should be any less romantic.

Take her somewhere before the game starts, pay, and then treat her like a princess inside the stadium. All of this goes without saying that you're the one who bought the tickets and organized the entire night to begin with.

1. Never Cause A Fight Over Sports. Like, Ever


Keyword here is: Ever. For whatever reason—mainly because of alcoholic passion—guys have a tendency to get overly aggro about their sports, causing them to run their mouths as if they're the ones out there sweating it out and giving it their all. Since you're not physically in the game, why not keep the enthusiasm and/or distress to a minimum without causing a scene or shit-talking an opposing fan, OK? The last thing anyone wants is for you to wind up on a YouTube video for trading blows with some stranger.