Look, there's no sugarcoating this topic, guys. Asking a woman to send nudes requires an incredible amount of grace and subtlety — two attributes men are most definitely not famous for. That being said, it's not impossible! You might just need a little, erm, coaching, if you will. That's why, when we came across this advice column from the "The Dating Nerd" on AskMen we knew we had to share it with y'all. To clarify, because we know some men can be a tiny bit thickheaded — the idea is to ask a woman you're involved with for nudes. Don't, for a second, think it's OK to text or DM some random gal for a picture of her naked body. Her reaction will be harsh and you will deserve it.
Moving forward, the following question was posed to "The Dating Nerd" by an anonymous AskMen reader:
"Hi Dating Nerd,
I matched with this girl on Bumble about a week ago and things were going great. Right from the get-go she really got my sense of humor and we were having some great banter. Honestly, more than a hot girl, I want someone I can have great banter with you know? But then I managed to ruin it — I was drunk and we were texting late at night and I ended up kind of prodding her to send me some nudes, or at least some scantily clad pics. Well, guess what, she stopped responding to my texts and I just realized she unmatched with me on the app. Safe to say I torpedoed the whole thing. Is there any classy or respectful way to ask for nudes or is it completely out of bounds?" — Nudes Dude
To be fair, this sort of goes against our original advice — only ask for nudes if you're involved with the girl. Then again, it's 2018, perhaps a conversation on a dating-app is involvement. "The Dating Nerd" had some really solid feedback that we hope you guys are able to make use of in your own, sexting lives. That being said, it was super long. We're going to cherry-pick some segments as the "cliff notes" version. You're welcome!
"I would suggest a basic mindset here, which is: A woman doesn’t send you nudes just because you want to see her nude. Everyone wants to see her nude. All the time. Her cousin, her dentist, her chiropractor, her priest. Guys, you may nave noticed, are horny pigs.
No — you get nudes from someone because they get turned on by turning you on. You get nudes if they want to picture you in the corner of a bar, slack-jawed before your phone, staring at a picture of her ass in the air. They want you jerking off to their pictures, rather than that one porn actress who's your usual go-to.
Nudes are not charity. They’re an exhibitionistic form of masturbation — as the old song goes, she loves how you love her. Or, to be exact, how you love her butt. So, let her know that she’s sexy. Ask her to send you a selfie, tell her she looks amazing, and that you can’t stop thinking about her — all of that corny crap. When she wears her skankier outfits, absolutely do not let that go unmentioned. Basically, you want to reward her for driving you insane."
See what we mean, guys? Pretty Grade A advice, if you ask us. The concept of nudes not being charity is entirely correct. A woman is not sending you naked pictures entirely for you, there's an element of self-satisfaction too, don't forget that. Just be confident and see what happens! If she says no, she says no, it's hardly the end of the world.
To read the full response from "The Dating Nerd", head on over to AskMen.
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