The Weirdest Sex Acts People Have Actually Done Are More Messed Up Than You Could Imagine

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One of the best things ever created on the Internet is Reddit, where people can openly, and anonymously, share some of the messed up things that have happened in their lives. And since we all enjoy reading about those things, here's one that will make you laugh—the strangest sex acts ever performed on them.

  • "A girl I was dating a few years back jiggled the lock on the bathroom door while I was dropping a deuce, let herself into the room and shut the door behind her, and asked if she could suck my dick while I took a shit because she'd always wanted to try that. Of course I said yes, but it was pretty awkward pushing out turds, hearing them splash into the bowl, with a girl between my legs going to town and knowing she had to be able to smell poop but didn't care. Pretty good otherwise."


  • "I had a blowjob so good from some girl that it made me start crying. I have no idea what the fuck she did with her hands, tongue, jaw, blowing bubbles, humming. She literally took every single internet tip and combined into the weirdest, most intense fucking blowjob known to man. Everything came out of me."


  • "Told the guy I was on my period, said he didn't care. He started pulling down my PJ's when I told him I had a tampon in. He said oh that's fine, proceeded to pull out my tampon with his teeth then go down on me."


  • "She pissed on me during sex. Felt so good I just rolled with it. After she insisted on bathing me, drying me, powdering my ass and nuts and tucking me in for a nap."


  • "I've said this before on here but it's worth a re-tell. My ex-gf gave me a shrimp cocktail bj. She didn't like giving bj's but she liked shrimp so somehow in her head combine the two and she would like giving a blowjob. I was pretty desperate for a bj so there I am in a quality inn on a Saturday with shrimp along the length of my dick, hanging off like hangers on a clothing rack. She ate the shrimp while giving me a bj. She said she enjoyed it. I struggled to make sense of it all. I did finished though. 7/10 would shrimp again."


  • "This is a bit of a long story but stick with me. I was out and about on the town and had a long night of whiskey neats. My friends and I decided to stop and eat at local pizza place that stays open till 2 a.m. We're sitting drunk as fuck eating away at the four pizzas we ordered between the three of us, and I see this cute girl staring at me. She had short brown hair, amazingly bright green eyes, make up that almost gave her a cat like appearance.(hold on to that). So I approach her introduce my self to her and find out her name is, lets say "Selina". I end up getting Selina to come back to my table and introduce her to the guys. About five minuets later shes rubbing my cock under the table and she was just about as drunk as I was. So I'm thinking to my self alright I'm taking her home, and I get up to tell my friends who, obviously knew what was going on by there giggles and looks my way, that I was leaving with Selina. So me and her get to my apartment and i notice on the walk home she almost making a noise like she was purring, but fuck she was hot. so about half an hour later, i'm ball deep giving it to her and I told her was about to cum so I pulled out, and she went down and gave me head to finish me off. I cum in her mouth, I'm laying down next thing I know Selina spits my cum in to my belly button and started to lick it out and meowed like a cat while doing it. I had no idea what to do in my drunken stupor so i meowed back."


  • "My girlfriend really likes pizza pizza creamy garlic sauce. She was eating a pizza and wanted to suck my dick, so she just dipped it in the dip and went at it. After we had sex and she just kept eating her pizza. To her credit we were both really drunk but damn does that girl love pizza."


  • "In high school, I was getting frisky with a dude who I had been on a couple of dates with, and he started licking my armpit. Like, really licking it. And then he asked me, 'Doesn't that feel good?' and I was too awkward to tell him it was weird."


  • We manicured each other's crotches. I had fun doing hers. I was wide-eyed terrified when she was doing mine."


    Now, sex is supposed to be pleasurable and fun, but I'm not so sure any of these stories really make it sound that way. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if these people are crying in the corner and curled up in the fetal position after some of these whack-ass experiences.

You can head over to Reddit to see the entire thread—if you dare.

H/T Brobible