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The Best, Worst, And Most Hilarious Virgin Advice The Internet Has To Offer

Image Via Instagram/melissacopelton

Personally speaking, I don't think anyone other than a trained professional (i.e a porn star/OBGYN) should be giving advice to virgins. Being responsible for what goes on during someone's first sexual encounter is waaaayyy too much pressure and frankly, how many people really get it right the first time? I'm going to go ahead and say a total of ZERO. I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to meet a woman who orgasmed while losing her virginity.

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Concerned citizen, sex educator, and Redditor, Swift_Jolteon, posed this question to the NSFW-loving Reddit community—"Sexually active users of Reddit, what's your best advice to a virgin about to have sex for the first time?"

Again, this is the REDDIT COMMUNITY we're talking about, while most of the time they can pretty helpful, they are also known for being incredibly rude, vulgar, and well, downright freaky!

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These 10 responses are what I'd like to refer to as the perfect mixed-bag of virgin-centric advice!

"Lick it before you stick it. Buff it before you stuff it."

—ThatsOneMilkyHit

"Practice makes perfect. Expect the first time to be either short or mediocre. It'd be gentlemanly to get her off before/after."

—PatheticPathologist

"That hole is surprisingly low. That said, don't go too low or you'll poke the wrong one."

—MagicMite

"Think about where you think the hole is, and subtract by about two inches."

—troyareyes

"Unlearn everything that you have learned from porn"

—CigarInMyAnus

"The balls do not go inside"

—dddcorpThai

"If you're the chick: it's not going to be great for a while probably. The real joys of sex start when your partner knows wtf they're doing or you know what you like enough to tell them"

—longtimelurker8246

"Don't lie and say your not a virgin. It's going to be obvious."

—CloudsOverOrion

"Just act like you're too drunk. People can understand horrible drunk sex."

—Betasheets

"If you're a girl pee after sex, pee after sex, PEE AFTER SEX. It stops you from getting a UTI. If you're a guy who is sleeping with a girl, encourage her to pee after sex after doing the deed. Nothing is sexier than caring about your partner's urethra health."

—KittensaurusRex

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To read the full thread, head HERE